Sad. Sad. Sad.

It's almost been a month since I've blogged. I've been wanting to but I haven't been able to write out a full story. I've written bits and pieces of stuff while I've been sad this past month. Here's a few:

"

Why am I sad?

Because... I'm worthless. I'm dumb. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I hate myself. I hate my life.

How am I supposed to "believe in God" if I'm going through all this?

If "God" was real, I wouldn't be going through this.

I'm a disappointment. I'm an embarrassment. I'm not good enough. Feeling like I'm not good enough is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. I put so much work and effort into everything just to not succeed.

I really wanted more for myself but I completely failed.

"

Obviously, I haven't been in the best emotional state. I'm not completely better yet. I think I'll be better once I leave this place. This place and the people in it bring me down. And because I'm so sensitive and weak, I let it bring me down. But I shouldn't let it bring me down.

One of the things I've seen people do when they're low is write things they're grateful for to remind them what's good in life so I'll make a list:

1. Food

2. Love

Those were the only things that came to my mind immediately. I tried thinking of more but I couldn't. Shouldn't a list of things you're grateful for be extremely long? If you're grateful for more than 2 things then you're lucky.

I don't know what the moral of this blog post is. Maybe there is no moral, no point to it. Maybe this whole blog post was about how I pity myself and my sadness.